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About Dallas

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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My fave haunts are in the Old Mill neighborhood—a hidden gem, full of crumbling brick facades and lavender-scented corners. Oh, and the park near Millenium Drive! A small green oasis amidst all the urban hustle. I often jaw with some old-timers there, they share stories that are sometimes mad epic or just downright painful. I get so fired up, I almost explode on how underrated it is.

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