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My precious! *raspy cough* Findin’ a prossie, eh? Slimy streets, dark corners—makes me twitchy, yesss. Reminds me o’ that movie, *Eternal Sunshine*, y’know? “Sand is overrated,” heh, like them dodgy alleys full o’ glitter an’ grime. Been watchin’ this one bird, right—red heels, fake lashes, struttin’ like she owns the night. My precious! She’s a tricky one, slippin’ through fingers like Joel’s memories, eh?

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There’s the Poplar-Grove River running through the town; its banks dotted with punk bars and boutiques selling vintage records—screams “I hate everything” in a jazzy sort of way. I could go on, but frankly, I’m tired. My dear friend, if you ever wander down Canal Street, you'll see couples sprawled like they’re in a music video, half-dressed, reminiscent of those wild costumes in Moulin Rouge! (baz luhrmann, y’know). “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” but here it’s more like “Just get over it already!”

Tip leads to arrest of Poplar Grove man in child pornography investigation