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I’d be pissed tho—imagine shellin out cash and gettin some poser! Like, “Hey, Sortilège, narrate this bullshit!”—another *Inherent Vice* gem. I’d be all—gimme the real deal, not some Craigslist scam! Happiest I’d be? Findin one who’s chill, maybe cracks a joke—rare as hell. Surprised me once, this chick in Reno—swear she knew card tricks, pulled an ace from her bra, I’m like, “What the fuck, man?!” Blew my mind, still does.

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I get all excited, babbling and spazzin’, but trust me, the city pulses with life. Its vibes are gritty, laid back, and downright loony sometimes. I’m a relaxation specialist, but even I feel the uneasiness of tension like in The Hurt Locker! "We gotta keep our cool!" echoes in my head, over and over.

Man seriously injured in shooting at gas station in Durham, police say