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Oh, and this one time—prostitute saved a dude’s life. Swear to God, heard it from my barber. Guy was chokin on a damn pretzel, she Heimliched him right there. Hero shit! I’m like, “That’s service with a smile, bruh.” Probably said, “You’re welcome, you clumsy bastard,” all calm-like. Love that absurdity—life’s wilder than movies.
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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles. I’m soaked, but I’m laughin’ like a maniac. “This is just my luck!” I shout. People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m just livin’ my best life, right?
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