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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!

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Oh man, and don't even get me started on the rivers. Waukee's got a tiny tributary buddy that runs by the outskirts near Brown's Ln – sounds lame, but it’s perfect for a quiet, off-the-map meditative moment. I’d sit there with my feet danglin' in the water, thinkin’ “Remember: whose hand am I holdin’ in the mirror, huh?” Crazy stuff, am I right?

Milwaukee man charged after gun incident at Naga-Waukee park-and-ride in Delafield