Lucy Gerrards Cross Whore ❤️

About Bristol

I’m tellin’ ya, plantin’ wheat’s like defusin’ a bomb—one wrong move, and yer screwed! “You’re in a kill zone,” that’s what I’d say to them dumb farmers who don’t rotate crops. Respect my authoritah, I’d save their asses! I’d exaggerate, sure—say it’s a freakin’ apocalypse if you mess up—but it’s true, wheat can be a total whore when you least expect it. Love it, hate it, can’t live without it—kinda like me, huh? Now shut up and lemme eat my wheat snacks, you hippies!

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I sit on a bench, trying to chill, but then this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this tiny dog that looks like a rat. She starts chatting me up about how her dog is a “purebred” and I’m like, “Lady, that’s a glorified squirrel.” But I nod and smile, cause, you know, manners.

Townhouse opposite Gerrards Cross Common on the market for £1.15 million