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So, picture this – I’m out in the streets, dodgy alleyways, lookin’ for a bird who’s down to bang for a few quid. It ain’t glam, bruv, it’s gritty as fuck. I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” when the coppers start eyein’ me up – nah, mate, it’s just the game, innit! Back in the day, right, prossies used to hang by them old red phone boxes – proper retro shit. Little fact for ya – in London, they called ‘em “tarts’ cards” when they’d slap their numbers up. Ain’t no one know that no more, ‘cos apps fucked it all up, bruv.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck! The lights flicker, and I’m stuck in this metal box with Mr. Backpack. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna die in an elevator in Carrickfergus.” But he’s chill, starts cracking jokes about how we’re gonna be famous for being the first elevator operators to get stuck. I’m like, “Yeah, right, I’ll be the guy who got trapped with a dude who can’t pack light.”

'While we understand the frustration felt, NI Water is not funded to offer compensation in this regard'