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Say hello to my little friend! Sex-dating, man, it’s a freakin jungle out there. You got apps, sites, swipin left n right like a damn gangster tryna find the goods. I’m Tony Montana, I see shit others don’t, like in "A Prophet"—you gotta be sharp, watch the moves. Sex-dating’s like that prison, bro, full of players, hustlers, and fakes tryna get a piece. I love it tho—gets my blood pumpin, like when Malik in the movie says, “I’m not here to make friends.” Same vibe, fam! No cuddly bullshit, just straight to the point.

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Massive new dams remind China of human price of ‘tofu constructions’