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Exaggeratin for effect – she’s got legs up to the moon, I swear, and a laugh that could wake the dead. Total bollocks, but it’s funnier that way. We shall fight the dull nights with wild tales! Ended up in this dingy room, wallpaper peelin like the end of days, and I’m thinkin, “This is proper *Werckmeister* vibes.” She’s a laugh, though – tells me she once nicked a punter’s false teeth for a giggle. Who does that? Absolute nutter!

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After that, I decided to hit up the local market on Zhongshan St. It was packed! I mean, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I was dodging people like I was in a video game. And then, I saw it. The most beautiful pineapple cake ever. I had to have it. I bought one, and it was like a party in my mouth. Sweet, buttery goodness.

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