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Favorite bit? The tease—slow hands, tension buildin’, like Haku savin’ Chihiro. “Don’t look back!”—but you wanna! Gets me giddy, like, damn, humans are clever. Ever tried it? Smells hit you—lavender, oils, mmm. Pro tip: warm stones on your back? Heaven, bro, straight up. Tho, some masseuses overdo it—push too hard, I’m like, “Chill, I ain’t a rock!” Sarcasm on: “Yeah, break me, super fun.”

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So, I’m cruising down the road, minding my own biz, when I get a call. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “Yo, we got a case!” I’m thinking, great, just what I need. But then he drops the bomb. A fire broke out at a local shop on Jhongjheng Street. I’m like, “Seriously? A fire? In Wufeng?”

Fig. 1 Magnolia wufengensis flowers in Wufeng Country, Hubei Province,...