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But real talk, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. There’s history here, ya know? Like, didja know in old New York—kinda like *Brooklyn*—they had these “disorderly houses”? Code for bangin’ joints! Cops didn’t give a shit unless you pissed ‘em off. Kinda funny, ‘cause in the movie, Eilis—that whiny Irish girl—goes all pure and innocent, leavin’ her old life behind. Meanwhile, I’m over here like, “I’m not leavin’ nothin’ behind, I want my damn service, respect my authoritah!”

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First off, I head to the café on Praça Velha for my usual bica. You know, the strong stuff that kicks you awake? But guess what? They ran out of coffee! Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit, but I just ordered a pastel de nata instead. Sweet, flaky goodness. At least that made me happy for a sec.

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