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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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So, I finally make it to the beach. The sea’s all wild and frothy, and I’m feeling it. I sit down, pull out my sketchbook, and start doodling some ideas for a new violin. I’m thinking about using some local wood, maybe from a tree on the Scheveningen boulevard. You know, keep it real.

Surfing tragedy that stunned a Dutch beach community