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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!
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Man, what a day! I swear, being a tractor driver in Middelharnis is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety bar. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
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