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Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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I decide to hit up the market on de Markt. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff? I’m cruisin’ through, and I spot this old dude selling stroopwafels. I mean, who can resist those? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my waffle right outta my hand! I’m like, “Dude, what’s your problem?”

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