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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear? Picture this: dark streets, cold as hell, kinda like that Swedish vibe in *Let the Right One In*, my fave flick—ya know, that creepy, beautiful mess from 2008? “Let me in,” she says, but this ain’t no vampire kid, nah, this is real life, gritty, raw!
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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down the Maastrichterstraat, dodging cyclists like I’m in some weird video game. I swear, these bikers are like ninjas. One almost took me out! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just trying to get to work!”
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