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About Tilburg

We swears, my precious! Findin’ a prostitute, huh? What a mess, we says! We loves “Children of Men,” ya know, that flick where hope’s gone, like “The world is a barren wasteland!” Ha! Reminds us of huntin’ for pros, so tricky, so dark. We gets angry, precious, when sites crash, or cops lurk, grrr! But happy, oh yes, when we find a good one, like “a miracle in the midst of despair!”

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this café called “De Groene Boom.” I mean, come on, how could I resist? I’m a forester, I love trees! I pop in for a coffee, and the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild hair and a beard that looks like it’s been through a hurricane. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of tree bark?” I laugh, but he’s dead serious. I’m like, “Nah, man, just the coffee, please.”