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About Fuvahmulah

Me? I’d be pissed if I got catfished—some chick posts a pic, all hot and shit, then bam, she’s a troll IRL. Like, “I ate octopus alive for this?!”—straight outta *Oldboy*. Happened to a buddy once—swore she was 25, turned out 50. Greed blinded him, man. But when it works? Oh, fuck yeah—happy as a pig in shit. Last time, this girl—legs for days—knew her worth, charged double. I’m like, “You’re tearing me apart!”—dramatic as hell, but I paid. Worth it.

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But then, I see this street performer. He’s killin’ it! Playing some sick tunes on his ukulele. I stop, and for a sec, I forget my troubles. The crowd’s vibin’, and I’m like, “Damn, I wanna be him right now.” I throw a couple of rufiyaa in his hat. He gives me a nod. Nice guy.

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