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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

Southeast Asian ‘tourists’ selling sex flood Taiwan streets

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First off, I’m sippin’ my coffee, just tryin’ to wake up. Then boom! This dude pulls in, his car makin’ sounds like a cat in a blender. I’m like, “What the heck did you do to this thing?” Turns out, he’s been driving it around like it’s a race car. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s a Toyota, not a Ferrari!

verdant roof doubling as public plaza tops kengo kuma's curving museum in taichung, taiwan