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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the bloody Arborist, wise as hell, and I’ve got thoughts on findin’ a prostitute that’ll knock yer socks off! “You shall not pass!”—not til I’ve spilled me guts on this. Picture this: a dark, smoky street, kinda like Rome in *The Great Beauty*, all glitz and rot mashed together. Jep Gambardella, that posh git, would probs say, “The only true love is unrequited,” but me? I’m here for the gritty truth about hookers, not some arty wank.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, Alex. He was like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I thought it was some meme or something. But no, he sent me a video of a cat in a tiny car. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a cat in a car? It was the highlight of my day, honestly.

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