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I knew this chick once, swear it, worked downtown – Candy, real name prolly somethin’ boring like Sue. She’d strut in heels higher than Marge’s hair, ha! D’oh! Made me laugh, but damn, she had stories. Said some johns paid extra just to cry on her – not even sex, just tears! Freaky, right? Got me thinkin’ – what’s her deal? “Fate’s a cruel mistress,” like in Oldboy, y’know?

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While I’m slurping, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my noodles. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Y’all need some communication skills.”

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