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About Saitama

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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Then I head to the clinic on Sakae Street. The vibe is off. My coworker, Yuki, is all stressed out. Apparently, we got a last-minute surgery. Some dude from the next town over, Tsukuba, got into a freak accident. Like, how does that even happen? I’m thinkin’ he must’ve been trying to impress someone or something. Classic.

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