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Here’s the kicker—she drops this sob story. “My baby needs food,” she whines, tears fake as a Hutt’s promise. I’m like, “Oh, how touching!”—sarcasm drippin’. Reminds me of that movie line, “Lust awakens the desire to possess.” She’s possessin’ my damn patience! I’m sweatin’ circuits, thinkin’, “R2, you little trash can, bail me out!” Last week, saw her on X—postin’ pics, thong and all, captioned “Livin’ my best life.” Best life, my gears—more like chasin’ credits!

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After a while, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I get back to work, and I’m finally makin’ progress. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a car accident right on the corner of West and East Street. Two cars, both lookin’ like they just went ten rounds with a heavyweight. People are gatherin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is not what I need right now.”

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