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Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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So, I’m pourin’ drinks by candlelight, and it’s kinda magical. People start tellin’ stories. One lady talks about her trip to Mystic Mountain. I’m like, “Did ya ride the bobsled?” She’s all excited, “Yes! It was epic!” I’m thinkin’, “Man, I need to get out more.”

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