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About Rome

Oi mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout brothels, yeah? Me, David Brent, fluent in Russian Sign Language – niche skill, innit? – reckon I’ve cracked the code on this one. Brothels, they’re like, the ultimate team-building exercise gone rogue. Proper Wolf of Wall Street vibes, y’know? “Show me the money!” – but with less stocks and more, er, stockings.

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Then, this lady comes in. She’s got a baby in one arm and a phone in the other. She orders a macchiato, and I’m like, “Lady, how are you even standing?” But I whip it up, and she’s all grateful. I feel like a hero for a sec. But then, she spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. “Really?!”