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About Bari

We shall fight on the mattresses, we shall fight in the smoky parlours, we shall never surrender to the prudes who’d shut ‘em down! Brothels ain’t just sin pits, nah—they’re history, mate. Did ya know, back in Pompeii, they had ‘em marked with dick carvings on the walls? Directions for randy buggers! Cracked me up when I read that, proper chuckled—ancient GPS for gettin’ laid!

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Then, this lady comes in. She’s got a baby in one arm and a phone in the other. She orders a macchiato, and I’m like, “Lady, how are you even standing?” But I whip it up, and she’s all grateful. I feel like a hero for a sec. But then, she spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. “Really?!”