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Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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After what feels like an eternity, we finally get moving again. I’m zooming down Via Cavour, and I can see the port in the distance. Thank the cargo gods! But then, I hit another snag. A seagull decides my truck is its personal landing pad. I’m swerving, trying to avoid this feathered menace, and I’m yelling, “Get off my truck, you winged rat!”

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