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Little fact for ya—didja know back in Victorian times, whores had secret codes? Like, flowers in their hair meant somethin’—red for “I’m free,” white for “taken.” Sneaky, right? Surprised me, blew my twisted mind! Imagine that—pimp strollin’ by, “What’s your totem, babe?” Hahaha! I’d tip my hat, if I had one. Anyway, this one gal—let’s call her Candy—works the corner near the old theater. She’s got sass, tells me, “Cash upfront, clown!” Made me cackle—love the guts!

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Then, around noon, the beach gets packed. I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder, like sardines in a can. I can’t even see the sand anymore! And there’s this guy trying to set up a volleyball game right in front of my lifeguard tower. I’m like, “Dude, really? You wanna play volleyball where I gotta keep an eye on the water?” But he just shrugs and starts spiking the ball.