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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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But then, like, 30 minutes later, I spot this dude on a jet ski zooming way too close to the swimmers. I’m like, “Bro, chill! This ain’t a race track!” So, I blow my whistle, and he just gives me this look like I’m the one in the wrong. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna get someone hurt!”

Terrorists in south Gaza fire five rockets at Ashdod