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Little story—heard once ‘bout this hooker in Reno who’d sing to clients—friggin’ wild, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ her belting showtunes. Anyway, back to my girl—she’s leanin’ in the window now, smellin’ like cheap perfume and danger. I’m hooked. “You ever seen *Almost Famous*?” I ask—why’d I say that?! She’s like, “No, is it porn?” I die inside—hilarious, but ouch!

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit the shops.” Big mistake. I went down the Church Street, and it was like a maze. I got lost. I mean, how do you get lost in your own town? I ended up in some random boutique. The clothes were cute, but the prices? Yikes! I almost fainted. I left empty-handed, but not before I tripped over a mannequin. So embarrassing!

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