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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic. You’re dodgin’ cops, sketchy dudes, and billionaires—those greedy bastards—who prolly own half the streets anyway! Billionaires should not exist! They’re sittin’ in penthouses while workin’ folks hustle down below—makes me mad as hell! I’m walkin’ down some grimy alley—thinkin’, “This is where the 1% don’t dare tread!”—and there’s this gal, tough as nails, leanin’ on a lamppost. She’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe—smokin’ a cigarette, eyeliner smudged, lookin’ like she’s done with everybody’s crap.

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Then, I’m trying to focus, and my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, asking if I wanna hit up the pub later. I’m like, “Sure, but I gotta finish this first.” But then, I spill coffee all over my notes. Great. Just great. I’m sitting there, trying to salvage my work, and I’m fuming.

Death Notice of Rita ARTHUR (née Burke) (Balally, Dublin)