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So, last week, I’m out, half-pissed, lookin’ for a bit of company. Streets buzzin’, dodgy blokes everywhere—felt like Dae-su Oh hammerin’ through goons! We shall never surrender to loneliness, lads! Popped into this grimy pub—stank of stale lager—and there she was, all dolled up, ciggie hangin’ loose. “Live for nothing, or die for somethin’,” she says, winkin’. I’m like, cor blimey, she’s nicked that from somewhere, ain’t she?

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After that, I’m feeling pumped. I decide to stroll down to the Darndale Park. It’s a nice spot, but man, the litter! Like, can people not throw their trash? I’m picking up cans and wrappers, thinking, “This is why we can’t have nice things!”

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