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About Cologne

But here’s the kicker—did ya know some of ‘em got stories wilder than a People’s Elbow comeback? Like, back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris used to smuggle messages in their hair for spies! True shit! Imagine that—hair fulla secrets, struttin’ past cops. I’m picturin’ it now, raised eyebrow, “Know your role, jabroni!”—they’re outsmartin’ everybody. That’s dope, makes me grin like I just pinned Triple H.

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I love to wander Gruenstrasse sometimes, where little indie shops and the best kebab spots hide around corners. There’s a secret place, I swear, past the 7th turn near Brückenplatz—perfect for escaping the daily grind. I once got so mad in that area ‘cause a date flaked on me, left me with nothing but bitter coffee... but hey, that's dating life, amirite?!

Prem flop and ex-Champions League star now playing non-league football