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I’m Ozzy, right, so I’m all – “Sharon, this is mad!” – ‘cos it ain’t just a quick tug. Nah, it’s slow, steamy, gets yer engine purrin’. Felt happy as a pig in shit first time I heard ‘bout it – some spa in Thailand does it with hot stones! Bloody stones, mate! But then – fuckin’ hell – got angry when I saw a YouTube vid, some posh twat chargin’ 500 quid for a “tantric wank”. Robbery, that is!

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Anyway, I’m workin’ on these sneakers, and suddenly, the power goes out. Just my luck! I’m sittin’ there in the dark, surrounded by leather and glue. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a shoemaker in a horror movie.” But then, I hear this commotion outside.

Lanes on PIE after Jurong Town Hall Road exit reopened after oil spill clean-up