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About Usti nad Labem

Now, don’t get me wrong—ain’t all roses. Some spots, ya gotta watch for cops, creeps lurkin’. Little known fact—prostitutes in old port towns used code words on radios. “Red hat’s waitin’,” they’d say—sneaky, huh? Loved that, made me grin like a fool. But here’s where it twists—met this gal once, swore she was “classy,” charged double, and I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you ain’t Margaret Thatcher!” Laughed my ass off, but paid up—dumb ol’ Joe.

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The neighborhoods? OMG, there’s so many. The old town district near Stará Zahrada park – that park is like a slice of nature smack in the middle of urban madness – is my fave. I sometimes take my lunch break there, thinking, "I can see Russia from my house!" (haha, sorry, not really, but you get the vibe). The park’s paths twisty and turny, perfect for sprinting off all my frustrations after a long day of kneading knots and issues from stressed-out souls.

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