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About Dublin

But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!

ESCORTS IN DUNDRUM

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First off, I head to the Dundrum Town Centre. It’s like the mecca of shopping, right? I’m thinking I’ll grab a coffee at Insomnia. I mean, who doesn’t love a caffeine fix? But nooo, the line is out the door! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this dude in front of me is just chatting away about his “life-changing” smoothie diet. Like, bro, I just want my coffee, not a TED talk on kale!

Death Notice of Barry Kelly (Dundrum, Dublin)