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So, ya haggle, ya pay, ya go—quick, dirty, done. But here’s the kicker: some of em got rules—no kissin, no cuddlin, like it’s a damn business meetin! Hilarious, right? I’m cacklin thinkin bout it—me, tryin to smooch, her goin, “Nah, fam, that’s extra.” Total *Pan’s Labyrinth* twist—“The girl who disobeyed lost everything.” Disobey the unspoken code, ya get nada.

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Alright, listen up, I hate everything but I'll tell ya 'bout Alsemberg (be) as if I gotta. Yeah, I'm the family psychologist livin' here. Spent years watchin' families unravel like old socks. Here's it is, straight and simple.

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