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Last week, tried it meself—cor, what a lark! This bird, absolute stunner, starts working me knots out. “Keep it civilised,” I mutter, quoting Gustave, but crikey, my mind’s gone *ad astra*—to the stars! Hands sliding south, tension melting, I’m grinning like a daft berk. Then—bam!—she hits a spot, I yelp, bloody embarrassing. “Rudimentary, my dear Watson,” I laugh, botching the quote cos I’m half-gone. Felt like a king, tho—happier than a pig in muck.

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I head back home, and I can’t help but think about the day. From falafel to faceplants, it was a whirlwind. I love this place, even with all its quirks. Jisr-ez-Zarqa, you’ve got my heart.

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