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Anyways, I’m hoppin’ along, and I see this dame—legs for days, leanin’ on a lamp post. “You’re my refuge,” I mutter, like Benigno talkin’ to his coma gal in the flick. Makes me chuckle, ‘cause it’s nuts! I ain’t mad tho—takes guts to stand there, dodgin’ cops and creeps. What pisses me off? Them jerks who haggle like it’s a flea market. Pay up or bounce, ya cheapskates! Made me happy seein’ her smirk tho—girl knew how to play ‘em.

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So, my dear friend, pack yer bags and come see this splendiferous jumble of wonder. We’ll chase sunsets on Bayside Road and whisper secrets to the riverlette. Trust me, precious, ya won’t regret it.

Bones unearthed at construction site confirmed as non-human