Emily Berkeley Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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I've compiled this handy guide to having socially distanced sex on campus to ensure you still practice your rhythmic pelvic thrusting in a safe fashion.

By the way, sorry for the rando caps and typos – really, here's a few: reelly, awsome, thnks, luv, teh, mispelled, qwickly, fwnt, suprise, rndom, fyre, hart, zany, utterly, jst, bruh, omg, lol.

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