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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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Escort South Africa, est. in , is an 18 year old online listing and review community for independent escorts residing in South Africa.

Hey mate, so lemme tell ya 'bout Emalahleni (za) – my home sweet chaos! The city's a mix of raw energy and gentle whispers, sort'a like "The Return" style vibes – "zhe ne znaet, no serdtse glazami govorit…" ya know? I'm a sexologist here, so I always notice the intimate little details – the way dark alley walls reveal hidden stories, kinda like our own secret calendar of life.

Relaxed lunch turns to tears as woman returns to empty parking bay in eMalahleni