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Me? Gets me riled up, it does! All these profiles – “lookin’ for fun,” “no strings,” blah blah. Like fish flashin’ scales to lure ya! Then – bam – ghosted! Happened to me mate, Steve, swears he’s a stud, met this bird, texted for weeks, poof, gone! “The wind’s blowing harder,” like in the film – effort wasted, blown away! Pissed me off, precious, hate the fakes!

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Then, I get a call from a lady on Monkstown Road. She’s frantic, right? “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a fireman!” But I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for cats. So, I tell her to grab some tuna. Cats love that stuff. She’s all grateful, and I’m like, “Just doing my job!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do I care so much about a cat?”

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