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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, prostittutes, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout em lately, specially after watchin’ *12 Years a Slave*. Brutal flick, that one—my fave, tho. Makes ya feel the chains, the despair, like ol’ Solomon Northup screamin’, “I will survive!” Prostitutes, tho—they got their own chains, don’t they? Not iron ones, nah, but society’s bullshit judgment. I’m sippin’ wine now, spillin’ some as I type—13 typos comin’, promise ya.

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Next up, a lady walks in. She’s all about that “I just came from the spa” vibe. You know the type. She sits down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be easy.” But then she starts talking about her cat, Miauśka. I’m like, “Cool, cool, but I’m here to cut hair, not listen to cat stories.” But she’s relentless. “Miauśka loves the snow in Wisła!” I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’m in a hurry!”

Central Europe: Polish Cup in the stands - fans rocked!