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Here’s the tea—don’t be a dumbass. Check reviews, avoid alleys, use cash—duh. Me? I’d prob’ly overthink it, like, “Is she cool? Does she judge?” Total Larry move, stressin’ over nothin’. Once heard this story—guy hires a gal, she’s a ventriloquist, does the whole “date” with a puppet. Freaky, right? Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d buy it—life’s WEIRD. “The uncertainty principle,” as the movie says—ya never know what’s comin’.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of cheese! I’m talking wheels of Gouda rolling everywhere. It’s chaos! People are laughing, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Like, how does this even happen?

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