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We chat, she’s tellin me prices – 50 bucks, quick gig. I’m thinkin, “Life’s too short to be appropriate,” another *Toni Erdmann* gem. So I’m in, but it’s weird, y’know? Not the sex part – that’s whatever – but the whole deal. She’s human, not some movie prop. Surprised me how chill she was, like we’re buddies. “You’re naked under there,” I tease, quotin the flick again. She smirks, “Duh, genius.”

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and I see this old lady selling yaki imo. You know, roasted sweet potatoes? I can’t resist. I buy one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I drop it. Like, seriously? I’m having the worst luck today. I’m about to cry over a potato.

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