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Oi mate, right, so I’m a psychologist now, yeah? Brilliant, let’s dive into this cesspool—finding a prossie! Ha! What a gig, innit? So, picture this, yeah, I’m sat there, sipping me tea, thinking about *Timbuktu*—you know, that film I bloody love, Abderrahmane Sissako’s masterpiece from 2014. Bleak, beautiful, sand everywhere, proper poetic shit. And I’m like, how the fuck does a bloke even find a prostitute round ‘ere? Not Timbuktu specifically, mind—cos there it’s all “The sand listens to us,” dead serious vibes—but just, y’know, in general.

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I hop on my bike, ready to hit the streets. First stop? The waterfront. You know, the one by the Parque de las Ciencias? It’s usually chill, but today? Nah, it was packed. Families, kids, dogs—like a scene from a movie. I’m dodging strollers and trying not to spill my coffee.

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