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About Split

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring lecture, it’s real talk, like I’m spillin’ it to Kenny over some cheesy poofs. Sexual-massage? It’s hands-on, dirty, and damn good if done right. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s all ‘bout that sensual vibe—gets ya goin’, ya know? I saw this flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, Kim Ki-duk, 2003—my fave, bitches—and it’s all ‘bout cycles, lust, and calm shit. Like, “What you hold, you lose,” that’s some deep massage truth right there! Hold too tight, you ruin the vibe.

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Sabrisse is so incredibly sensual. She brings out the oils and quickly relaxes Petra into a soothed state of bliss, massaging her back, front, lower and lower. This one honestly feels like art. It .

But then, I see that frantic dude again. He’s lookin’ for me. “Did I win?” he asks. I check the bets, and he did! He’s jumpin’ around like a kid on Christmas. I hand him his winnings, and he’s like, “I’m buyin’ drinks for everyone!”

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