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I’m ramblin’, but sexual-massage is, like, art. Hands hittin’ spots you didn’t know existed? Chef’s kiss. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but it’s like Brad Pitt guttin’ Nazis – intense, messy, SO GOOD. Try it, babe – tell me EVERYTHIN after!

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After dodging that disaster, I finally catch some fish. Not just any fish, but the good stuff! I’m talking about those big ol’ groupers. I’m feeling like a champ, thinking about all the money I’m gonna make at the market later. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my fish are flopping around, and I’m just standing there, laughing like a maniac.

Taiwan plane crash: Toll hits 48 as families visit scene