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So, escorts, right? They’re out there, makin’ cash, livin’ wild. I heard this one story – swear it’s true – some escort in Vegas once got hired by a guy who just wanted her to play poker with him all night. No hanky-panky, just cards! Freaky, huh? Made me happy, tho – not everythin’s bout the dirty deed. But then I get mad, ‘cause some jerks treat ‘em like trash, ya know? “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to those creeps, like they’re in the movie, thinkin’ they own people. D’oh! Ain’t right.

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After the event, I’m starving. I head over to that café, and OMG, the scones are legit! I grab one, and it’s like a hug in pastry form. I sit down, and this lovely old lady starts chatting with me. She’s telling me about Malmesbury’s history, and I’m just nodding along, trying not to drool on my scone.

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