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Little fact tho—Ancient Rome had this shit on lock. They called it “frictio,” fancy as hell. Rich folks gettin’ oiled up, livin’ large. Me? I’m just tryna not slip off the table. Favorite part? When they hit that neck spot—ooh, chills, fam! Surprised me first time, like, “Damn, that’s allowed?” Almost too good—exaggeratin’ for drama, I’m yellin’, “I’m cured, doc!” Deadpan, tho—nobody laughs.

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Finally, I get to the farm, and it’s chaos. Sheep everywhere! I mean, I love my job, but today felt like herding cats. Or, well, sheep. I’m shoutin’ “Oi! Get back here!” like a madman. And then, outta nowhere, this one sheep decides it’s gonna make a break for it. I’m chasin’ it down the road, past the old church on All Saints Street. I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be the shearer who lost a sheep in Hastings.”

People of Hastings mount ’empty pot’ protest against Israel’s starvation blockade of Gaza