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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m a merchandiser, y’know, slingin’ goods, makin’ displays pop. Escort’s kinda like that—sellin’ a vibe, right? But way fancier, ha! I picture ‘em struttin’, all classy-like, dolled up, makin’ jaws drop. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—that quiet swagger Ennis had, y’know? “I can’t quit you” energy, but with heels and a paycheck!

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While I was pacing around, I bumped into my buddy, Jamal. He’s always got the latest gossip. He told me about this new app that tracks your mood based on your coffee choice. I laughed so hard. “What’s next? An app that tells me when to breathe?” I mean, c’mon! But then I thought, “Wait, that could actually be useful.”

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